Several years ago, before blogs, tweets, & practically everything but Bulletin Boards, my Educational Psychology professor was lecturing about a “new” area of research, Proxmetics… or the study of preferred distances in social situations. He was saying that this was a new field , akin to the not totally understood pseudoscience of physical psychology.

Alright, where is this trip down memory lane taking me… Not to a failed 1990 TV show about a psychologist who solved crimes studying the body language of suspects, nor the interesting, but scientifically inaccurate “How to Read a Person Like a Book”, but in a practical application I have observed within the confines of the bosses office. I have had a grand total of 7 bosses over the last 23 years, and I’ve noticed a correlation between the “proxmetics” of their “visitor’s chairs” and their management styles.

An example… One of my bosses was a well connected, highly powerful, and very aggressive individual in the community. He had an open door policy, but rarely allowed much disagreement. He was aggressive in negotiations, aggressive in policy, and aggressive in his personal life. One day he had me dead to rights… He sent a note telling me when to report to his office, and what to bring with me… As I entered I saw that his office was set up in the Us Vs. Them configuration. 2 visitors chairs about 3 feet from his battleship of a desk where he presided in a tall backed mangers chair. I got there a few minutes early, and noticed a person with a complaint wither under his scrutiny and cold stare.

As I was sweating my wait time, I remembered this college prof and his “pseudoscience” lecture. He specifically said that on eof the new exciting ways it was being used was in negotiations with Japanese businessmen (remember this was in the 80’s when it seemed the Japanese economic juggernaut would consume all of our production here in the US.).  The prof said that the Japanese respected strength, and suggested that putting the other party at a psychological disadvantage to begin with would set the tone for the meeting.

THAT’S when I saw my bosses office in a different light. My boss had placed the chairs at a distance where he could see the entire body of his “guests”. Having sat in the “hot seat” a couple of times, I can tell you that you feel quite naked & alone out there without a desk to hide behind. Meanwhile the boss himself would sit back behind the symbol of his authority, his massive desk, firmly ensconced, firmly entrenched in his position. Secure. Talk about setting the tone in your favor before you even get started.

I figured the minor infraction I was being called in for was minor enough I wasn’t getting fired, so I decided to try something. As I came into his office I pulled the visitor chair over to the corner of his desk (I think I got that from “Men in Black”… it’s one of my favorite scenes in that movie!) The boss was a little taken aback, and even forgot why he called me in. I smiled and said that I had accidentally done so & so, but that I knew it was a mistake and had taken steps to repair the situation… The boss was so discombobulated that I didn’t yammer about not knowing why I was called in, making lame excuses, and generally acting submissive, that he quickly agreed that I was in the wrong, but that I was on the right track to repair the damage, if there even was a problem.

Now I’m not saying that if I had embezzled money, slept with his wife, or burned down the copier that I would have gotten away with it, but in this case a little basic, and half remembered, psychology did help my situation.

Check it out… “How to Read a Person Like a Book” is a good read… fun stuff to try (parlor tricks maybe but fun nonetheless)… Enjoy!