“Your child can LEARN TO READ by age 2…”

This really burns me.

Not so much that it’s false advertising… it’s not. Studies show that there is a fairly small window of time starting with around age 2 and continuing through age 10 or so (depending on WHICH study you’re looking at, who sponsored it, and which university conducted it) when children seem to pick up new languages and learn to read/write MUCH easier than outside that window. No… THAT’S not what burns me… It’s the “left out” information…

Studies show that children who are put in these excellerated learning situations “level out” with children who are not in these courses… in other words, the early headstart that those children got, did not equate to higher IQ, nor did it equate to long term gains as compared to their peers.

Now… Let’s look at another couple of age groups and how the mental age thing is modified by life experience…

I’m a high school teacher… (Hey you! In the back! Sit up & get your notes out!)… and amazingly enough have a pretty good repoire with my kids… We often talk from general examples, theories, and facts to real life examples and non examples… Ok… that’s the set up… I was in my Psych 101 class teaching about stuff, when the topic went from general statements to personal examples… one of my students let slip that her boyfriend was a bit older than she was… Ok… I’ll bite, 2 or 3 years… that’s “normal”…. “Nope,” she said, “a little bit more… no more than THAT even.” (I’d guessed 5 or 6 years, thinking a 16 year old MIGHT find a college aged, 21 or 22 year old boyfriend).

She then drops the bomb… “My boyfriend is 32.”… … … Uh… oh… um… After stumbling on THAT one for awhile (I kept thinking… Jimmy Crickets! I’M only 35!! (“Eww…Gross!” say all the little girlies)) I got on with the point, that men mature slower, females faster that’s why guys date younger/girls older (yes, yes, I KNOW that there is also a historical/sociological aspect… Jeez! Calm down back there!)… She wouldn’t let go… “Well, we’re so perfect for each other, we’re getting married when I graduate.”… Um.. Ok… Hey, why don’t you go home tonight & lookup the stats on divorce and Intergenerational divorces, might be interesting. “Oooo You sound JUST LIKE MY DAD! Bobby (or whatever the scums name was) loves me so we’re getting engaged as soon as I hit 12th grade.” Ah. Um. Why wait? “Bobby wants to wait till his divorce papers get served.” … … … Um… Divorce papers? (Long story/much breast beating…) He’s married. 2 kids. Wants to wait till she gets “ready to be married” before he serves the papers.

My mom used to say… “Why buy the cow, when she’s forcing milk down yer throat?” Or something like that… Hey… Got an idea… why not go “Cold Turkey” on him. No “nouggy nouggy” until he comes across with the papers? I mean… why wait. If he wants a divorce, if SHE wants a divorce, if they love each other & are made for each other… why wait?

Now… IF your over the age of 25 I don’t think I have to end this story. I at first thought that maybe it was just her that couldn’t see the major train wreck in her future… nope. My class was agast that I would suggest such a thing. Stand in the way of “true love”? I mean SHE had landed a major catch. He was employed, with a good job. Had a house & car (until the divorce, I assume). Lov-ed her… He said so, so it was.

Long(er) story short… she followed my advice. Went “cold turkey”. He tried for 3 days to bring her around. She held firm. He dumped her (SURPRISE!)… but I gotta give him props for his “dump line”… “I would NEVER leave my wife and kids for you. I would loose all rights to my kids. My wife would take everything I own. You were just a ____ (booty-call?).” Ouch. She just wasn’t mentally/emotionally experienced enough to work her way through this. Most adults would have seen it about 10 miles away. We spend so much socital capital saying these kids are adults. They should dress as adults, they act like adults, they are as large as adults, therefore they ARE adults. Nope. Sorry.

Had a kid in class who got upset at me because (after asking him 3 times to “be quiet”, “quiet down”, “no talking”) I told him “Shut Up Johnny!” Oooo! He Dis-Respected Me! You don’t know me! I’m a GROWN MAN!… Uh-Oh… He just pushed my button labeled “Take Him Down A Peg”. Um… Hey… Off the subject but do you have a job? Cool. Do you pay any bills? Ah… Cell phone… Ah… Car Insurance… Cool. Um, just wondering… Who paid for your clothes? Your Food you ate in the cafe? Last night’s supper? Where did you sleep last night? Pay the mortgage? Insurance? Car payments? OH.. You have a son? Pay child suport… No I DON’T mean buy the kid shoes once a year, I mean $300 or $400 a week becuase you donated your DNA in the making of that kid. AH. That’s what I thought. You are NOT a MAN. You are a CHILD. You live off your parents and do not contribute to them for your needs, nor to your son’s wife for his support. You are NOT a MAN. Become one and I’ll give you a TON of respect. Until then Sit down. Shut up. He was quite cool with me for the rest of the year. Even started paying a little to his … baby’s momma… to help her.

Kids don’t THINK like adults. Over and over it’s been theorised, and in my opinion proved. Teens think themselves immortal. Teens look at the silver lining and ignore the storm clouds. Children think of themselves before anyone else (oops… “adults” do some of these things also)… Adults KNOW they aren’t immortal (life insurance, health insurance, driving speeds, etc, etc, etc.), We “hope for the best, plan for the worst”. I’m also a firm believer that people who are well adjusted have compassion and empathy for others. We think of how our actions effect/affect others.

Sure this is a function of experience. But educational psychologists will tell you that one way that a person learns is through trial and error (operant conditioning?). Experience. Infants synapses are multiplied by doing. This process does not stop. Connections are made throughtout a persons lifetime. So… surprise, surprise… As you mature/age you should be growing mentally. Duh!